I’m in this weird funk lately. As much as I want to be productive with my time, all I crave right now is to waste it. To do nothing of importance. To stare off into space.
I’m tired of being productive.
So what did I do tonight after the kids were tucked in, dishes were cleaned, and laundry started? What did I do with such precious “me” time?
I spent a ridiculous amount of time rearranging the train table, trying to make some fancy-schmancy configuration with bridges and tunnels and lots of loops. This done with full knowledge that it will be utterly destroyed within minutes once the kids play with it tomorrow morning. But I couldn’t get myself to stop working on it.
Afterwards, I was kicking myself for having wasted so much time on this. I could’ve caught up with some reading. I could’ve given a good friend a call. I could’ve worked on our family photobooks. My gosh, I could’ve gone to sleep!
Instead I had wasted so much time playing with the train table.
This is probably why people like me will never achieve incredible fame and success on the world’s terms.
But my children woke up to a pretty snazzy train table the next morning. And that, I suppose, is still worth something in my little world.
Even if it did get destroyed soon after.