Mom vs. Mommy

I can’t take it.  It’s breaking my heart.

MM has begun to call me “mom.”


No, this is not acceptable.  I am still mommy.   We can’t be rushing ahead to the title of mom like this.  It’s not fair.  I need more time.  I need those cheeks to stay chubby.  I have photo albums to finish.  I want a few more kisses and a lot more cuddling.  I cherish the reliance of that little hand that curls around my finger as we walk side by side. 

I’m not ready for mom.

But the time has come.  We are moving forward.  He knows what he likes.  He knows what he fears.  He doesn’t hesitate to say “I don’t know.”  He sees the world before him and he’s determined to conquer it. 

I am increasingly a bystander, watching the daily miracles of change and growth in my son.  Sometimes with pride.  Sometimes with fear.  Sometimes with annoyance.  I know this is good and necessary.  But letting go is hard.  

I’m reminded to cherish these remaining moments that I am still mommy, even as the invisible cord between us lengthens further and further.  I’ll treasure the sweet lilt of trust as he calls out “mommy?” when he looks for me, and the exuberant crescendo of “mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY, MOMMY!!!” when he sees I’ve come home.   Being mom is equally wonderful, but it’s different.  I wasn’t prepared for how quickly it’d happen.

I’ll always feel like his mommy, but MM has gone and flipped those letters around into “my mom.”  Hopefully, as he grows up, he’ll always know that he can flip them back whenever he wants.  Please do, MM.  Just once in a while.  How I love being your mommy.


6 thoughts on “Mom vs. Mommy

  1. Just wait until he *really* wants your attention so he calls you “Yolanda.” The first time Carson called me Heidi, I thought I would crack up. Or cry. Or punish him. His response? “But Mom, you weren’t listening to me.”

    • Sorry for the late reply! I was out of the country on a trip. Heidi, I can’t even imagine how I’d respond if my kids started calling me by first name. What did you say? I used to have classmates back in high school and college who I knew called their parents by first name. It always felt so awkward and uncomfortable to me. Thankfully my son still can’t quite pronounce my name even if he wanted to. 🙂

  2. Wiping tears from my eyes. It’s so hard to let go of their babyness, yet somehow their newfound independence provides us with a whole new world of comforting gems to fall in love with all over again.

  3. Kids know what they hear. Makes me wonder if your husband says, “Ask your mom” vs “Go ask Mommy.” When they were small, I wanted my kids to stick with “Mommy” a little while longer, so we talked about calling people the name they like to be called. The kids all have a full name (usually only used if they’re in trouble), and then there’s what we call them. I said that in our house we prefer to be “Mommy” and “Daddy.” It’s easy to compare to what we’d read in books, too. The only example I can think of right now is in the Little House books, where the parents were “Ma” and “Pa.” It’s part cultural, part preference. fwiw

    Now that they’re older, I don’t really care which they use, as long as they’re respectful, but a habit has been formed. When they’re talking with their friends, they’ll say, “Let me ask my mom,” but when they address me, it’s still “Mommy.” If your child is only two, I’d say you still have a few years of “Mommy” left if you want them 🙂

    • “Mommy” comes back readily when he’s sick, so I’ve noticed. I will definitely be encouraging the use of “mommy”, even if it’s only between him and I. I like that idea of just telling him that I love being called mommy instead of mom; will give it a try!

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