The fevers have have finally stopped.
The coughing and difficulty breathing has resolved.
The kids are finally sleeping in their beds again.
We are almost back to a normal bedtime again.
It’s been almost three weeks since coming back from a trip to Taiwan, two weeks since jet lag had improved, one week since both kids developed a bad case of croup, and 4 days since starting antibiotics for ongoing fevers. Dare I say it, things are beginning to feel almost normal again.
Except for the fact that we are all so terribly sick of each other. Too many days holed up together at home, coughing in each other’s face. Too many nights of fussy toddlers climbing into our bed, then fitfully moaning and kicking us in their sleep all night long. And far too many explosive tantrums triggered by the slightest discontent, like hidden mines embedded in the grumpy landscape of my children’s mood.
Yesterday, MM declared aloud, “Mommy, I don’t like Mei-mei at ALL!”
TL could care less. Cool as a cucumber, she comes up to him and just yanks the toy out of his hand.
MM collapses onto the floor in despair and wails like he’s just been kicked in the stomach. TL continues to play without even a glance. In fact, I thought I saw the barest hint of a smile on her lips. I sense war.
Unfortunately, their grumpiness has rubbed off on me. I have lost whatever nurturing touch I thought I had. I just want to squirt the medicine down their throats and be done. I just want us to get out the door on time in the morning. I just want them to finish brushing their teeth and rush them into bed. I don’t want to cuddle. I don’t want to reason and talk through the situation. I don’t want to consider their feelings. I am just a grumpy mom who wants to mindlessly flip through the junk mail in peace.
The other day, I hit my yelling point. And ofcourse, it happened towards the end of the afternoon around 4:30 pm. MM was whining over and over for daddy because he didn’t get his way with something. What did I say in response? Something logical and useful? Of course not. Exasperation took over and I raised my voice, telling MM, “FINE. If you want daddy so bad, you can just go and walk to daddy’s work. Mei-mei and I are tired and we’ll just stay at home. But you want daddy so bad? You go find daddy. That’s fine by me.”
Yup. Exemplary and mature parenting at its finest.
I know we all love each other. That remains unchanged.
But right now, we just aren’t liking each other much at all.