Be the Hero

Momo has a little hero in his heart.  He wants to fix things.  To come to the rescue.  To do right and to know the answers.

He wants to be bigger.  Stronger.  Faster.

Oh, but he is small.

And he knows it.  There are days I sense he feels like he’s being swallowed up by this big world that jostles him around.

He fears failure.  It stops him in his tracks.  The hero in him comes face to face with doubt.

“No, I can’t do it.”  He says with downcast eyes.  Even when it’s something I know he is able to do.  He gives up, before even trying.

Oh but yes you can! my heart wants to cheer.  Yes you can, my love!

He is right though.  With everything looms a possibility of failure.  No matter how successful you’ve been in the past.

I fear failure too.

But the question I hope my son (and myself) will wrestle with and conquer is this:  Does failure define you?

The world can label you a failure for all I care, but you my dear Momo, will always be loved.  You will always be my son.  And in the safety of God’s victorious arms, you will always be His child.  Whereas abilities may falter and accomplishments may be forgetten, your true identity does not change.

That is a subtle difference.  But it’s a difference that I hope will unleash his brave little heart.

Is worth defined by productivity and results?  Or is worth a reflection of how loved you are?

Oh Momo, you are more loved than you can possibly ever know.  Not just by the limited and imperfect love of your parents.  But by a wonderful, gracious, faithful, sovereign and holy God who created every bit of you with more love than I can muster as a mother in my entire lifetime.  I love you so much but God loves you perfectly.

And Momo, perfect love casts out fear.  There is no room for fear, just as darkness cannot compete with the glow of light.

Be the hero that God has made you to be.  Not by saving or conquering by your own effort and might…  No, you will be discouraged and limited by your failures when you do it all on your own.   Instead, find bravery as you’re filled with the confidence of knowing that Christ has been the ultimate hero for you.  Christ has saved, Christ has conquered, and above all, Christ has risen.

I know there’s a hero in you.   Not the superhero of Hollywood.  A quiet hero, created to dream big, take risks, serve humbly, and give generously.

That hero is in you.

I know it.

I see it.

And I believe in you.

 

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…”  1 John 4:18

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4 thoughts on “Be the Hero

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Yolanda. Zachy is very similar, and I’m struggling with how to handle it. It really troubles me when he gets so discouraged and says, “I can’t do it.” I try to encourage him, but sometimes he just gets more upset. A couple weeks ago, he was walking with a cup of juice and spilled a little. He just dropped his head, and then purposely dumped the rest of the cup on the ground. It broke my heart to see that, he just looked so defeated. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

    • Hi Anne! It is heartbreaking watching our sons experience a sense of defeat. Although it’s not a good feeling, I try to remind myself that this is not a bad thing for him to feel. It is real and it’s something he needs to figure out for himself. But I’m also that much more aware then of the importance in guiding him towards a secure hope and confidence. And that will take time. Thankfully we do have time on our sides as parents, which I guess is why parenting takes years (and never truly ends in some ways). I don’t have the answers by any means, but I think as long as we make sure we’re listening, observing, and making the most of these opportunities to encourage and comfort, our sons can figure this out. They are allowed to have their bad days and to act out in frustration. I constantly forget that this too is okay. On my end, I’m learning to offer as many activities as possible that foster independence at his level, and to catch myself when I’m flooding him with messages of “no you can’t do that”. I think this hits him differently than it does my daughter. And I try to also avoid praise based solely on results, ability, or “good behavior”. It’s hard since those are things we naturally praise. Instead I try to focus on praising effort, perseverence, and the humility to ask for help when he needs it. Lastly, I just randomly tell him how much I love him and how proud I am of him. Just because. But especially at the end of a really rough day of tantrums and mess-ups. And keep on reminding him how much God loves him. Part of bravery and boldness comes from a secure knowledge of being loved no matter what, and I think that’s all we can really do as parents, right? For all the rest…I’m just praying my heart out for him and trusting that God will meet him in his heartaches in a way that I simply can’t. Let me know what you find useful over time. We should definitely keep exchanging ideas on this!

    • thank you Crissy. such a great verse, huh? I feel like I need to paint it on my wall too so that I can be reminded every single day. thanks for reading and your sweet words!

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